In rural Romania, women lead the way through death just as they do through birth and life. As midwives usher new life into the world, elder women are entrusted with guiding the soul out of it. In folk tradition, women are naturally attuned to the thresholds of life, from birth to death. This is especially true of elder women and widows, who have already fulfilled their rites of passage or have lived a life of celibacy and thus stand with one foot in this world and one in the Otherworld of ancestors.
Although often marginalized or overlooked, their authority in village life and deathwork is indispensable. Years of experience and hardship have granted them the knowledge and ability to ensure that the soul does not stray on its journey to the Otherworld, that the rites are observed correctly, and that the community is protected.
In caring for the dead, they also care for the living. Their rituals create order amidst emotional turmoil and integrate the departed into collective memory. The community relies on them wholeheartedly, because when death rites are neglected or performed poorly, the consequences can be cosmic. The dead may lose their way and become strigoi revenants, and the living may suffer the unrest that follows.
Women at the Threshold: Guiding the Dead, Guarding the Living
Preparing for Death and Consecrating the Space
When death is anticipated due to illness or old age, chosen women care for the dying and ritualize their final moments. They help prepare funeral garments and items for the journey. They distribute alms in the name of their dying person and perform the necessary actions to help conciliate the soul before its departure.
At the moment of death or immediately after, the women sacralize the household. They light a candle by the deathbed to light the way, burn frankincense to purify the space, cover mirrors to prevent the soul from becoming trapped, stop the clocks to suspend profane time, open windows to release the soul, and prevent animals from entering the room for both sanitary and spiritual reasons. It is believed that souls may attach to pets if they enter the chamber of the deceased before burial.
Preparing the Body and the Ritual Bath
Image via Wikimedia.
Once the household is sacralized, the body is ritually washed and prepared for the journey. The washing is usually performed by someone of the same gender as the deceased, either chosen in advance or designated by the family. However, in many cases, the washing would be performed by elderly women or under their supervision.
Like the first bath given to a newborn, this final bath is also a rite of passage. The water used for the sacred ritual must be “unbegun” or “untouched,” meaning drawn from a well before any animal or human use, either at night or dawn. The one fetching the water may also carry the same candle lit by the deathbed to ritualize the act. The water would be further consecrated by adding herbs, flowers, and other items to it, such as basil for blessing, garlic for protection, coins for safe passage, or stones to ward off wandering spirits.
The ritual bathing is often performed by three people, thus evoking the Fates, likewise present at birth, and the magical significance of the number three in Romanian folk belief. One person may hold the body, another may wash it, and a third may observe in prayer while holding the candle. The entire ritual unfolds in solemnity and silence that must not be broken until the bathing and grooming are complete.
Anointing and Sealing the Body
Image via Flickr
After the ritual bath, the body is anointed and sealed for protection. It is believed that anointing with animal fat or mixtures of garlic and incense protects the body against decay and hostile spirits that may attempt to lead the soul astray.
If there were suspicions that the deceased could return as a strigoi or if they passed away unreconciled with their death, other sealing methods were used, as documented in the Romanian Ethnographic Atlas:
- Sealing bodily orifices with crushed stone, glass, or incense to “petrify the body”;
- Placing metal in the mouth or branding the body;
- Driving iron nails into the heels;
- Pricking the skin with a sewing needle.
Once anointed and sealed, the deceased is dressed in the finest garments, and the women adorn the coffin, made only by men, with items for the afterlife such as mirrors, coins, personal objects, and pouches of herbs, often containing lavender, which is believed to soothe the soul. The pillow may also be stuffed with flowers and sacred plants for protection and peaceful rest.
Young people who passed away unmarried are adorned as a bride or groom, to symbolically fulfill their wedding rite and thus be properly integrated into the cosmic order.
Keeping Watch with the Dead
Image via Wikimedia.
Once prepared, the body is treated with deep reverence. It is no longer touched or spoken to directly. Women hold vigil over it, praying and keeping the candles lit for two nights while family and friends visit. They remain watchful for signs of unrest. Even a sudden draft, a cat leaping onto the body, or an unexpected movement may require further purification rites.
The women in the family or close to the family help prepare ritual foods, such as coliva, also known as the death cake, made from boiled wheat with honey and nuts. At specific moments during the vigil, and again at dawn on the day of the funeral, the women or designated mourners, always in odd numbers, sing laments and funeral songs, which recount the person’s life and guide their soul through the journey.
The Endless Vigil
Women’s deathwork does not end with the funeral. As keepers of ancestral memory, they ensure the dead are never forgotten. They help the family organize commemorative feasts and perform rituals to purify the grave on the 9th, 20th, and 40th days after death, and then annually for several years. They prepare food, speak the names of the dead, and serve the living in their memory. During springtime feasts for the Dead around Easter, they feed the entire village in honor of the departed or collective ancestors.
Without them, spiritual and social balance would falter. They never have to be asked to do this work. They do it because, in their belief, it must be done, for both the well-being of the living and the nourishment of the dead. It is a moral duty and an integral part of their role as elders and wise women in village life. To them, it is as natural as death itself at the end of a long life.
Many of these practices have been documented in detail by ethnologist Ion Ghinoiu in his book Lumea de Aici, Lumea de Dincolo (This World, The Otherworld), which explores the complexity and pre-Christian origins of deathwork in Romanian folk tradition. These customs were once widespread across Romanian villages, with their own regional variations. However, over the past decades, they have significantly dwindled due to urbanization, migration, legislation, and the commodification of death. Yet, in some rural areas, deathwork remains in the hands of the elders at the threshold, who ensure safe passage to the Otherworld.
.jpg){kind=link}
Comments